Author Topic: Random Funnies  (Read 1540 times)

EveningStar

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Re: Random Funnies
« Reply #120 on: February 17, 2017, 11:32:09 AM »
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools

-- Rudyard Kipling

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Karl Marx is not one of our Founding Fathers.
-- Anonymous

tac

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Re: Random Funnies
« Reply #121 on: February 17, 2017, 11:40:51 AM »
 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

EveningStar

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Re: Random Funnies
« Reply #122 on: March 06, 2017, 03:31:59 PM »
A black man and a white man, both first-time fathers, are pacing nervously in the maternity ward waiting room when a nurse rushes out of the delivery room holding a newborn black baby.

The nurse smiles and says, "Now, I wonder who this belongs to?"

The white man laughs and says, "It's probably mine. My wife burns everything."
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools

-- Rudyard Kipling

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Karl Marx is not one of our Founding Fathers.
-- Anonymous

tac

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Re: Random Funnies
« Reply #123 on: March 06, 2017, 04:36:41 PM »
 :lmao: :rofl:

EveningStar

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Re: Random Funnies
« Reply #124 on: March 23, 2017, 10:15:35 AM »
At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table.

Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.

"This is so embarrassing," the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods.

The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming woman I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools

-- Rudyard Kipling

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Karl Marx is not one of our Founding Fathers.
-- Anonymous

EveningStar

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Re: Random Funnies
« Reply #125 on: March 23, 2017, 10:24:28 AM »
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools

-- Rudyard Kipling

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Karl Marx is not one of our Founding Fathers.
-- Anonymous

tac

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Re: Random Funnies
« Reply #126 on: March 23, 2017, 11:11:30 AM »
At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table.

Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.

"This is so embarrassing," the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods.

The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming woman I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."

/groan/

tac

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Re: Random Funnies
« Reply #127 on: March 23, 2017, 11:13:05 AM »

EveningStar

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Re: Random Funnies
« Reply #128 on: April 03, 2017, 04:14:26 PM »
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools

-- Rudyard Kipling

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Karl Marx is not one of our Founding Fathers.
-- Anonymous

EveningStar

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Re: Random Funnies
« Reply #129 on: April 04, 2017, 08:27:18 PM »
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools

-- Rudyard Kipling

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Karl Marx is not one of our Founding Fathers.
-- Anonymous

EveningStar

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Re: Random Funnies
« Reply #130 on: April 16, 2017, 12:49:00 PM »
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools

-- Rudyard Kipling

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Karl Marx is not one of our Founding Fathers.
-- Anonymous